Rachel (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
thislife_is_beautiful) wrote2010-11-21 05:59 pm
thislife_is_beautiful) wrote2010-11-21 05:59 pm
Entry tags:
{Fic} The Collective Good
Characters: Troika, Kirihara Akaya
Rating: PG
A/N: For koko and based on a fanart...which I cannot find atm :P
Yukimura does not find out about the nightmares until after he is released from the hospital. Nobody even thinks to tell him about them.
So when he finds the team’s baby screaming in his sleep on a bench in the locker room during his free period, he does not know what to do. He is reminded of the screams from the rooms near his in the hospital; he is reminded of his own screams, and the thought makes him want to vomit.
Yukimura ends up doing nothing but leaving as fast as he can.
---
“You didn’t tell me he was having nightmares,” Yukimura mentions to Renji the next day. They’re sitting on the bench, watching Akaya and Jackal rally.
“Genichirou did not want to worry you.”
Yukimura tugs the jacket on his shoulders closer to fight off the chill. “Just because my body was weak does not mean my mind is made of glass as well.”
Renji gives him a look, and Yukimura sighs and lays his head on his shoulder. “You know he just worried that the stress would make your recovery process slower.”
Seiichi finds he cannot argue with that logic. “How long?” he simply asks.
“A few months, four at the most.”
“What is the effect?”
“His accuracy has tripled in the past two months. His speed has doubled. Recovery time after matches has slowed considerably.”
“So we should just let it be.”
Yukimura can feel Yanagi’s head move in a nod against his own. “If you want us to take nationals, then yes.”
---
The second time Yukimura wanders into the locker room during his free period, he finds Akaya sobbing along one of the benches. He is about to turn away when...
“Buchou.”
Yukimura turns. Akaya’s eyes are bloodshot and his hair is wild. Yukimura has little time to process anything else before his kouhai is bounding into his arms. He is sobbing uncontrollably, and Yukimura can feel his entire body tremble as he clings to his shirt.
“Just....make it stop.”
Yukimura would be lying if he said he knew how to handle this, so he simply starts pushing a soothing hand through damp curls.
“He’s always there when I close my eyes, and he tells me....” Another choked sob. “That I’m nothing without him, and that I’m worth nothing and that none of you guys will even remember me if I try to play tennis without him.”
A pang of foreign guilt runs through Yukimura as the sobbing continues, and he realizes that they cannot make this stop. Not if they want to take Nationals.
“Shhhh Akaya,” Yukimura says softly, voice sweet with false promises. “We’ll make him go away.”
Kirihara sniffles and collapses even further into his arms. Yukimura cannot help but wonder if the extra weight is all psychological.
--
Yukimura does not mention the incident to either Renji or Genichirou, and so when they decide to make Marui, Jackal, and Yagyuu lose on purpose to push their baby further, he says nothing.
They play the match. Akaya wins. Collective gains have always far outweighed the costs.
--
“He hardly sleeps anymore Seiichi,” Yanagi tells him one day as they clean up after practice. “I’m beginning to wonder....”
“You were the one who recommended it in the first place.”
“I did not realize it would progress as quickly as it has.”
Yukimura turns and looks at Genichirou. “So we have a choice to make.” The finals are in two days. Fragments of tapes they have watched of Seigaku flicker over and over in his head, and Yukimura already knows he has made his choice.
“You will play doubles with him Renji,” Yukimura decides as he hands his tennis bag over to Sanada. “Other than that, we will do nothing. “
He knows he does not have to say anything else as they walk off the court. Yukimura’s mind drifts to those bloodshot eyes, but he just as quickly pushes it away.
Winning is everything, and not even one of their own screaming himself to sleep every night is enough to make him forget that.
Rating: PG
A/N: For koko and based on a fanart...which I cannot find atm :P
Yukimura does not find out about the nightmares until after he is released from the hospital. Nobody even thinks to tell him about them.
So when he finds the team’s baby screaming in his sleep on a bench in the locker room during his free period, he does not know what to do. He is reminded of the screams from the rooms near his in the hospital; he is reminded of his own screams, and the thought makes him want to vomit.
Yukimura ends up doing nothing but leaving as fast as he can.
---
“You didn’t tell me he was having nightmares,” Yukimura mentions to Renji the next day. They’re sitting on the bench, watching Akaya and Jackal rally.
“Genichirou did not want to worry you.”
Yukimura tugs the jacket on his shoulders closer to fight off the chill. “Just because my body was weak does not mean my mind is made of glass as well.”
Renji gives him a look, and Yukimura sighs and lays his head on his shoulder. “You know he just worried that the stress would make your recovery process slower.”
Seiichi finds he cannot argue with that logic. “How long?” he simply asks.
“A few months, four at the most.”
“What is the effect?”
“His accuracy has tripled in the past two months. His speed has doubled. Recovery time after matches has slowed considerably.”
“So we should just let it be.”
Yukimura can feel Yanagi’s head move in a nod against his own. “If you want us to take nationals, then yes.”
---
The second time Yukimura wanders into the locker room during his free period, he finds Akaya sobbing along one of the benches. He is about to turn away when...
“Buchou.”
Yukimura turns. Akaya’s eyes are bloodshot and his hair is wild. Yukimura has little time to process anything else before his kouhai is bounding into his arms. He is sobbing uncontrollably, and Yukimura can feel his entire body tremble as he clings to his shirt.
“Just....make it stop.”
Yukimura would be lying if he said he knew how to handle this, so he simply starts pushing a soothing hand through damp curls.
“He’s always there when I close my eyes, and he tells me....” Another choked sob. “That I’m nothing without him, and that I’m worth nothing and that none of you guys will even remember me if I try to play tennis without him.”
A pang of foreign guilt runs through Yukimura as the sobbing continues, and he realizes that they cannot make this stop. Not if they want to take Nationals.
“Shhhh Akaya,” Yukimura says softly, voice sweet with false promises. “We’ll make him go away.”
Kirihara sniffles and collapses even further into his arms. Yukimura cannot help but wonder if the extra weight is all psychological.
--
Yukimura does not mention the incident to either Renji or Genichirou, and so when they decide to make Marui, Jackal, and Yagyuu lose on purpose to push their baby further, he says nothing.
They play the match. Akaya wins. Collective gains have always far outweighed the costs.
--
“He hardly sleeps anymore Seiichi,” Yanagi tells him one day as they clean up after practice. “I’m beginning to wonder....”
“You were the one who recommended it in the first place.”
“I did not realize it would progress as quickly as it has.”
Yukimura turns and looks at Genichirou. “So we have a choice to make.” The finals are in two days. Fragments of tapes they have watched of Seigaku flicker over and over in his head, and Yukimura already knows he has made his choice.
“You will play doubles with him Renji,” Yukimura decides as he hands his tennis bag over to Sanada. “Other than that, we will do nothing. “
He knows he does not have to say anything else as they walk off the court. Yukimura’s mind drifts to those bloodshot eyes, but he just as quickly pushes it away.
Winning is everything, and not even one of their own screaming himself to sleep every night is enough to make him forget that.